Something's Gotten Hold Of My Heart
by tvaddict23
Summary: GSR no spoilers, just a little peice on how or why Grissom may finally have conceeded his feelings for Sara


Still don't own them, they do however belong to Anthony Zuiker and Alliance Atlantis.

Please read and review. Thanks

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**Something's Gotten Hold Of My Heart**

At 37 Gil Grissom was at a high point in his life. Everything he'd planned to accomplish, he had and then some. The top of his field in Entomology, a Level 3 for the last 15 years. At 22 he'd been the youngest person ever to achieve that level.

His personal life was non-existent, but it didn't worry him, he was happy enough being married to his job. Women were too unpredictable, and he preferred the order of evidence, science and insects. Other than a distinct lack of a love life - which he wasn't worried about, he had everything he could have ever hoped for.

Being one of the most eminent authorities in entomology, his talents were sought after by many universities and colleges across the country, so every few years he'd do a 'tour' of selected Forensics Labs. This day found him in San Francisco, with only LA and Seattle left on his tour.

Stepping off the plane, he was immediately enveloped in a San Francisco fog. The smell of the salt in the air gave him a small pang of pain from a childhood memory that he quickly shoved back into the corner of his brain. Continuing through to baggage claim, he collected his luggage and presentation case then out to hire a rental car where he thankfully dumped everything in the trunk.

The lecture was scarcely an hour away, and he barely remembered the way to the Berkley campus. Finally pulling up in front of the hall assigned him for his lecture, he removed his presentation from the trunk. Setting the assorted paraphernalia on the ground, he looked up to see a pair feminine feet planted before him.

Following the feet up an incredibly long and shapely pair of legs, he passed the torso, which was also nicely proportioned. His eyes finally fell upon her face, framed by deep brown, wavy almost unruly hair. When his eyes fell on hers, they were met by a pair of intelligent, intense chocolate brown orbs. What struck him most though was the brilliant gap toothed smile she gave him as she held out her hand and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Sara Sidle. CSI Level 1 with the San Francisco lab. I'll be helping you get things set up."

It took a moment for Gil to regain his senses as he took the proffered hand. "Dr Gil Grissom. Nice to meet you. You're a CSI?" he asked referring to her casual attire.

Nodding she picked up one of his cases. "Yeah, it's my day off."

"Drew the short straw huh?" he said picking up the remainder of his gear and following her into the building.

"Nope. Volunteered. I'm looking forward to your lecture."

A little enthusiastically he asked, "You have an interest in entomology then?"

Chuckling a little, Sara led him onto the podium. "Sorry, no. Well, not past what I need to know as it pertains to a crime scene anyway." She seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Well, anything else you need?"

He shook his head. "No thanks, I'm fine. So, you'll be back for the lecture then?"

Nodding she answered, "Compulsory for all Level 1 CSI's to attend."

"I'll see you later then…Sara."

She nodded and he watched her retreating form. Somewhere in those few minutes, his heart had lost contact with his head, and the few moments spent with this woman, were just about the sweetest lifetimes he'd ever spent. _Well, that was some introduction,_ he thought as he set up his presentation.

Approximately half an hour before his lecture was to start, and with everything set up, Gil decided to get some coffee before his talk, and he remembered seeing a small Uni-café when he was driving in. Before he could make it out the door, the young CSI Level 1 Sara Sidle met him at the door to the podium. His heart tripped a few beats, and he took a deep breath in order to get his heart-rate back to as near normal as it was going to get in her presence.

"Thought you might like some coffee before the beginning of your lecture," she said handing him the steaming disposable cup.

Taking the coffee from her he smiled. "Thanks, I was just going to go get some."

Sara flashed him a smile that he felt through his whole body, especially his groin. _No Gil! Do NOT go there. She's a student, a fellow CSI and at LEAST 10 years younger than you are._

He sat down on the steps, she'd bought the cream and sugar, making sure that no matter how he took is coffee, it'd be satisfactory.

Despite what he'd warned himself of only moments earlier, Gil found himself lost in her. She was describing a recent crime scene in which a woman had murdered her husband, and set it up to make it look like suicide, and all because she'd spent money from a trust account he'd been in charge of. Blood evidence, and the stippling from the gun proved that she'd definitely been the killer.

Gil nodded as he listened to her enthusiasm. Shaking his head mentally, he tried to remain concentrated on her voice, but it was that just as much as anything that was so distracting to him.

He'd heard of instant attraction before, but dismissed it as merely something only incurable romantics believed in, not grown men, and certainly not grown men with women almost half their age.

He was spared further contemplation and therefore embarrassment by the entrance of a group of CSI's who noisily made their way into the lecture hall. Sara excused herself and wet to meet them.

Gil found himself disoriented, and it took him a few moments to gather himself. Slowly getting to his feet, he tried not to focus on the brunette that seemed quietly comfortable between her fellow workers. Something unknown again pulled at his heart, and again, as the theatre filled, he pushed the feeling aside.

There were at least three times – that he remembered – where the pause between topics or sentences had been a little too long, these were preceded by the times he'd let his gaze wander. Mostly her head was bent taking notes, but the times when she was looking at him – drinking in the information he was giving – were those times when he'd stuttered. She was also the one who asked the most insightful questions, the answers to which he knew, but again was distracted by her enough to seem hesitant, as if he almost didn't know the answer. She was a truly fascinating woman.

Gil had a feeling she'd be the last to leave, and he was right. Finishing packing up his presentation, she climbed the steps to the podium. "That was a very interesting lecture."

Blood rushed to his face, and he hoped she couldn't tell he was blushing. "Mmm, well…I'm glad you enjoyed it." _Oh that smile again._

"I said interesting, not necessarily enjoyable."

His face reddened even further. "Oh, sorry…I shouldn't have been so…"

"Relax. I was kidding."

_Damn that smile of hers._ "Oh yes, of course." _Get outta here Gil before you make an utter fool of yourself. _"Well, I gotta go. Need to get back to my hotel and all."

"Oh, okay. Let me help you with your stuff then."

Gil tried to find the breath to say a simple and short no, to refuse in some way, any way, but his heart refused to listen to what his head was insisting on. "Sure, thanks," he conceded.

As they finished packing the car, Sara again intruded on his closely held privacy and self-imposed reclusive tendencies. He didn't want to – didn't need to connect with anyone, especially with beautiful brown eyed brunettes with adorable gap toothed smiles.

"Hey Doctor Grissom, would you join me for dinner?"

He felt the flush in his face again. Damn, only adolescents blushed this much, and he hadn't even blushed this much AS an adolescent. "Well, I don't think that'd be…"

Sara stopped him. "Hey, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow for the second lecture."

"Sure, see you then," he replied with an inner sigh of relief.

She'd done nothing to elicit this kind of response from him. She hadn't touched him, been overtly – or even discreetly – sexual to him, nothing. As he lay in bed that night, he couldn't get her out of his head. After tossing and turning most of the night, he finally fell asleep around 2am.

At 7.30am he dragged himself from his bed. Though having finally been able to fall asleep, his dreams had been filled with a certain Level 1CSI. Stumbling into the shower, he tried desperately to forget those images from his dreams, images of Sara Sidle in a scarlet negligée. Not the colour of blood scarlet, but the full of life rich scarlet, that in his dreams highlighted all of her beauty, and was set off ever so enticingly against her almost alabaster skin.

Taking a deep breath, he turned off the hot water and let the cold water cascade over him. His arousal didn't seem to notice the cold. Gil sighed in frustration, he hadn't had this happen to him since he was a teenager. It was going to be a very long day.

Sara was there for his morning lecture, just like she'd said she'd be. His concentration was only maintained, because he didn't look her way at all. Every minute of that morning lecture was a sweet torture that seemed to last a lifetime. When she'd asked him to have lunch with her his head had screamed, NO. But his heart had been in-charge of his mouth in that instant, and "I'd love to" had popped from his mouth.

She took him to a small quiet out-of-the-way café. He found himself smiling through the whole lunch hour, and remembering nearly nothing of what she'd been saying for the time they'd been together. She told him that she wouldn't be able to attend the last lecture as she was working the swing shift. He was slightly saddened, but also somewhat relieved at the fact that he wouldn't have the distracting opportunity to see her smile, or look into her amazing eyes, because he knew that it'd be the undoing of him. He left for his next lecture stop in LA the same day.

Gil thought that'd be the end of it, but it was almost a full month before he stopped dreaming of her on a nightly basis. When he was called out to San Francisco two years later, to consult on a complicated case involving insects, he again met up with Sara Sidle, now a level 2 CSI and the one who'd suggested they call him in to get a better fix on what they were dealing with. This time he allowed himself to have dinner with her every night he was there. It was the sweetest torture he'd ever experienced, as he watched her and tried to memorize every move she made.

This time when he returned to Vegas, he promised to keep in touch with her, and he did. Mostly it was work related, but occasionally they'd both throw a few personal details in, and even though she was a long way away from him, she still seemed to have a hold of his heart. It was only when Holly Gribbs had been shot that he'd let his heart lead his head.

It was a bad idea, and there were so many reasons why she shouldn't be in Vegas, working with him. But he hadn't been lying when he'd told Catherine he trusted her. He did. After all, she'd had his heart for a good part of a decade; not that she knew it.

Oh, he'd tried to forget her on more than one occasion, but the encounters he'd had with other women, always left him feeling like he was cheating on Sara, and that was something he couldn't stomach. So although it pained him greatly that he wasn't able to know Holly for a longer time, and more so that she was denied the rest of her life, it had allowed the opportunity for him to bring his beloved Sara to Vegas. And being as they were an investigator short, he was also able to ask her to stay without an eyebrow being raised.

Oh what a sweet torture it was to have her near. This of course would lead to comments like; 'Since I met you' when she'd blithely asked, 'Since when do you notice beauty?' He'd noticed her shock at the statement, and he pretended he hadn't said anything and moved on to the Zamboni comment.

What a blithering idiot he was.

How could anyone so young and beautiful want him?

There were times that followed where it seemed that she was making moves toward him. Lines like, 'Tie me up', 'Sleep with me', and just the look alone that she'd given him when she'd wiped the 'chalk' from his face.

He'd finally had her near him – nights anyway. And days, when he slept – well there he'd had her for as long as he'd known her anyway.

Then there were times when he'd hurt her, inadvertently and without malice. He'd asked her to clean out the fridge of rotten meat of all things. It'd been a request made out of ignorance, and only when she'd reminded him that he really should know her by now that'd be begun to feel horrible about the callous way he'd sounded. Her threatening to quit, made it even clearer that she'd been really hurt by his careless comment. It'd been Cath who'd convinced him to get something for her, something to show that he knew he'd been an ass, and that he was sorry. Unfortunately even with Catherine's prompting, the best he could come up with was a plant with the sentiment 'From Grissom' attached to it. How could he put any more on it with out pouring out his heart to her?

As stupid as it had seemed, it had worked; she stayed.

In the following months and years, he'd tried to distance himself from her, but his heart wouldn't co-operate. Not Lady Heather or Terri Miller, or even Sophia had been able to make him forget being with her. The dreams remained, as did the broken link between his head and his heart as it pertained to her.

Sara's DUI had made him feel guilty for the way he'd been pushing her away, and he began treating her with a little more consideration. It was the case involving Dr Lurie that nearly broke him though. As he processed the scene, and later when he was interviewing the good doctor, he felt as never before the abyss that he looked into so often looking back at him.

The circumstances behind what Lurie had done were crystal clear to him, and he told him as much. He admitted to a total stranger that there was someone who had offered him a new life, but that he was unable to give up the things he'd held on to so tight for so long to be able to take it. Gil felt an unholy kinship toward the man, because he really could relate to what the man had done, and although he was pretty sure he'd never be able to commit murder, he knew the FEELING behind what had caused Lurie to crack.

Yes Lurie was still there, and so was he, but his heart was heavy and empty and maybe even if for a little while, even if she chose someone younger in the end, maybe it'd be worth it.

It was the events surrounding Nick's kidnapping and rescue that finally made Gil realise that he needed to grab what he had, or he'd lose it. Even if it were for a short time, he needed to be with Sara, to be connected to her.

The thought that it could have been her in that coffin was almost too much to bear, so when he was sure that Nick was going to be okay, he left and headed for her apartment.

On the drive over he was stunned at the waste of almost fifteen years or so that he could've been with her. Fear had kept him away, but a greater fear was now giving into the reality of the hold she'd had on his heart from the very day he'd met her.

Sara had been the one to change his dreams, making him want to go to sleep, just to experience the sweet torture of being near her because he didn't believe that he could have her in the waking world. His world may have been more peaceful before they'd met, but it'd also been oh so black and empty.

Gil tried rehearsing what he wanted to say to her, but everything seemed so over the top an intense to the point where he knew he'd scare her if he said what his heart wanted to.

What he wanted to say was, _'Sara, you shook my heart with the intensity of your love and belief in me. I know this is the real thing, because as stupid and cliché as this is, you make my heart sing. Your smile has always had the power to make me lose myself in you. Each hour, each minute that I get to spend with you is so right. I know I hurt you when I removed myself from you, but that was only because your touch make me lose my train of thought, you touch is still able to make my synapses misfire. I want to come home to you, with you. I want to be able to kiss you senseless and be able to pour my emotions into them. The short of it is my dear, beautiful Sara, that you have my heart to do with as you please. I know you'll keep it safe. You are in my dreams, and there forever will you be. In a world that shows us each night how cold and uncaring it can be, you have given me a place of comfort and warmth. I love you Sara and I will hold on to you for as long as you will let me.'_

As he knocked on her door, he became acutely aware of what he was about to do, and as she opened the door, Gil looked into those brown eyes that he loved so much. "Sara…I…umm…do you want to go have something to eat?"

The smile that make his heart pound appeared. "I'd love to."

The End

A/N - What can I say some songs just speak to me. This one I couldn't get out of my head one night, but it took me ages to write the story, which I hope you've enjoyed. Below are the lyrics if you're interested.

(Sung by Marc Almond and Gene Pitney - the most famous of the recordings anyway)

**SOMETHING'S GOTTEN HOLD OF MY HEART**

(Greenaway/Cook)  
Something's gotten hold of my heart  
Keeping my soul and my senses apart  
Something's gotten into my life  
Cutting its way through my dreams like a knife  
Turning me up, turning me down  
Making me smile, making me frown  
In a world that was war  
I once lived in a time  
That was peace  
With no trouble at all  
But then you came my way  
And a feeling I know  
Shook my heart  
And made me want you to stay  
All of my nights  
And all of my days

I wanna tell you now  
Something's gotten hold of my hand  
Dragging my soul to a beautiful land  
Something's invaded my night  
Painting my sleep with a colour so bright  
Changing the grey, changing the blue  
Scarlet for me, scarlet for you

I've got to know if this is the real thing  
I've got to know what's making my heart sing, oh yeah  
A smile and I am lost for a lifetime  
Each minute spent with you is the right time  
Every hour (yeah) every day (yeah)  
You touch me and my mind goes astray  
And baby yeah, and baby yeah

Something's gotten hold of my hand  
Dragging my soul to a beautiful land  
Something's gotten into my life  
Cutting its way through my dreams like a knife  
Turning me up, turning me down  
Making me smile, making me frown

In a world that was war  
I once lived in a time  
That was peace  
With no trouble at all

But then you, you, you  
Came my way

And a feeling I know  
Shook my heart  
And made me want you to stay  
All of my nights  
And all of my days

Something's gotten hold of my heart  
Keeping my soul and my senses apart  
Something's invaded my night  
Painting my sleep with a colour so bright  
Changing the grey, changing the blue  
Scarlet for me, scarlet for you


End file.
